On Weeds, Plastic Bags, Our Fire Hydrants, and A City That Seems Not To Be Paying Attention

This fire hydrant (yes, there is one in the picture) on N. 5th at Long Alley really inspires confidence in our Fire Department and DPW Water Department, doesn't it?  Don't you feel a little safer and securer knowing that the city is being sure to test and maintain every fire hydrant in town regularly?  If they can't bother with going anywhere near this hydrant, what others are they ignoring?  What other important things besides hydrants are they also ignoring?  Weeds?  Who cares!

A few years ago, I called the Fire Department to let them know about a fire hydrant in my neighborhood that was equally completely surrounded and obscured by tall weeds. I don't know who the person was I spoke to, but he wasn't very friendly. When I asked him if the weeds around the hydrant would ever be cleared, he responded that the Fire Department didn't have time to do that kind of thing, and he asked me if I would volunteer to do it for them. "We always need volunteers, you know," he finished with. I said, "no thanks" and hung up. The weeds stuck around for months until they died in the cold.

It turns out that, at least as of last year, the DPW Water Department performs maintenance on and around our important fire hydrants, including painting, testing, and removing vegetation surrounding them.  In fact, a few weeks ago, one of two Water Department employees in a pick up truck used a weed whacker to remove vegetation about 4 inches in height around a hydrant at 6th and State.  They then drove away and left the weed and grass clippings scattered all over the sidewalk, not having bothered to sweep them away.  It took me three minutes to take care of that for them.  Apparently, though, the hydrant on 5th isn't getting the same attention.  Could the reason be because for the past month or two from a certain angle one can't even see the hydrant due to all the overgrown vegetation surrounding it?  Or is that hydrant out of service and awaiting a plastic bag?

Is this obnoxious enough?

There is no rule in our City Code regarding maintenance of fire hydrants, but there is a plenty written about the maintenance of signs.  Chapter 244, Section 29 has to do with Ground Signs. Subsection E states the following:  "Premises to be kept free of weeds, etc.  All ground signs and premises surrounding the same shall be maintained by the owner in a clean, sanitary and inoffensive condition and free and clear of all obnoxious substances, rubbish and weeds."  Excuse me?  You expect my ground sign to be free of weeds, but you can't find the time to remove three-foot-tall weeds surrounding a city fire hydrant?  Really?  Can I please speak to someone in charge here?

On two separate occasions at Informal Common Council meetings in the past two years, I have asked the representative from the Fire Department (Timothy Hutchings, I believe) why the city chooses to put plastic bags over certain out of service fire hydrants. Both times the response has been startling: "That's DPW. Fire Department does not handle maintenance of fire hydrants." When I asked if the Fire Department cared what the hydrants looked like, I got the same response: "DPW handles these things, not us."

He might as well have said "What does it matter, Mr. Huston?"  I'm pretty sure that's the way Robert Perry would answer my question as well, if I only had an opportunity to ask him a question at a meeting.

These pictures show an out of service hydrant on Worth Avenue with an out of service tag attached to it.  I'm not going to try to convince anyone that a hydrant covered in a plastic bag is much uglier and more insulting than a hydrant with a small round tag on it, or that it shouldn't be acceptable in the year 2023, because I shouldn't have to.  But what's interesting about the tag on this hydrant is the information in small print found on it.  Someone at Hudson DPW once called a company by the name of USA Blue Book to purchase product number 88081, described in the company's catalog as a Hydrant "Out of Service" Marker, Reflective, 4.5" Outlet, made of UV-and weather-resistant plastic construction.  Recently, I called the phone number on the tag and someone at USA Blue Book told me that they have this product in stock, the price being $13.39.  They also carry a red marker that is non-reflective for just $10.  I'm thinking that one of those hydrant markers could be expected to last at least ten years, maybe even twenty years.

"Hmmm...," says Robert Perry to himself, "black plastic bags that need to be replaced every 4 months, or a $10 tag that will last 10 or 15 years?  Oh, jeez, stick with the bags!  What the f' does it matter?"

This tag is product number 88077. 
It is currently in stock for $10.69

What does it matter that the curb surrounding a fire hydrant in the 200 block of Columbia Street, in the city's most challenged neighborhood, has not been repainted in 10 or 15 years?  What does it matter that the yellow paint on that curb completely faded away two or three years ago and DPW has done nothing about it since?  What does it matter if Robert Perry is perfectly fine with never repainting that curb surrounding the fire hydrant?  Why would he have a change of mind, ever?  What does it matter that Robert Perry makes sure that the curbs surrounding hydrants on Warren Street are painted yellow at least every other year, while the curb surrounding this hydrant gets ignored year after year?