Sometime last year, I noticed that at least one HPD police officer was placing overnight alternate side parking violation tickets not under windshield wipers, but in the cracks by doors. There is nothing secure about placing a flimsy 12-inch long parking ticket there. Nothing! It is disrespectful to the car owner and the city is just asking for trouble, annoyance and wasted time by doing so.
It wouldn't even take a strong wind to blow that ticket off of the side of the car seen in the picture above. Just a moderate wind, perhaps with some rain, would be sufficient to help things along and allow that ticket to essentially disappear. Or maybe a passing truck creating just the right amount of breeze in the ideal direction would free the ticket from the car. Or maybe a kid passing by on a bicycle decides to swipe the ticket and drop it on the ground seconds later. Of course, the ticket itself might disappear, but the fine written on it that is waiting to be paid will not.
If the ticket falls to the ground, then what? The owner of the car will have no idea that the Parking Bureau is expecting payment of $10 within 30 days. 45 days later the owner might get a letter in the mail from the bureau reminding them that the ticket (that they have no idea of) is now overdue and has risen to $25. Or maybe that unpaid ticket that slipped off the side of their car in the dark of night in a mild breeze results in their car being booted and/or towed because of other unpaid tickets the owner was or wasn't aware of. If the car owner becomes irate (can you blame them?), they might just stomp over to City Hall to demand that someone tell them what the hell is going on or to immediately void the overdue, mistaken ticket. This will result in a waste of City Clerk Tracy Delaney's (and possibly the sole Parking Bureau employee's) time. Who knows, maybe yelling ensues. Maybe that person is mentally unstable, or high or drunk, or just generally a violent person having a bad day, week or life, ready to explode.
It's certainly not out of the realm of possibilities that something stupid and regrettable happens. Maybe the car owner flips out and threatens violence against someone in City Hall. You know, UOPTR: Unknown Overdue Parking Ticket Rage. "I never got a god damn ticket and now you're telling me I have to pay $25 for something that never happened? What the hell is wrong with you people?" Maybe that person pulls out a knife or a gun or just starts slamming the glass separating the public from the clerks. Maybe the police are called to City Hall because someone is brandishing a gun or has gone ape shit over an overdue $25 parking ticket they claim to know nothing about. Maybe someone or a few people wind up in the hospital. Maybe a cop has to shoot or taze the irate car owner. Maybe a city employee goes home early because the incident upset and scared them so badly that now that person never wants to set foot in City Hall again to interact with the public. We all know that stranger, more regrettable misunderstandings have led to similar or worse outcomes. Have you read a newspaper or listened to the news lately? Have you seen the movie Falling Down?
And if something truly regrettable resulted from the simple mistake of a Hudson police officer NOT PLACING A PARKING TICKET UNDER THE WINDSHIELD WIPER OF A VEHICLE, do you think that a) the city would figure out that that is what ultimately caused someone to flip out at City Hall, maybe even shooting or stabbing someone?; and b) if someone at City Hall were smart enough to figure out the ultimate cause of the regrettable and violent incident, would Mishanda Franklin finally write a memo to all her police officers telling them that all parking tickets must be placed under windshield wipers and nowhere else and that doing otherwise will result in a written reprimand that goes on the officer's record?
Why would any police officer place a parking ticket anywhere but under a vehicle's wiper? There can be no justification for being so lazy, inconsiderate and unwise. Unless, of course, your motivation is to try to have as many unsecured tickets as possible fall to the ground before car owners see them so that the city makes more money in the form of overdue fees, as well as pissing off residents who suddenly hate the city they live in and want to ring someone's neck -- anyone's neck -- in City Hall.
Is that what HPD, the Clerk's Office and the Hudson Parking Bureau want?
I worked as an HPD parking officer several years ago for a few months. Not only was I trained to place all tickets securely under wipers, but it also never even occurred to me to place a ticket anywhere else let alone in the thin space at the edge of a door. It never occurred to me, I guess, because I am a somewhat sensible person.
Our police chief (or should it be the commissioner?!) should ask the officer(s) not placing parking tickets under wipers: What the hell were you thinking? Were you thinking at all? Who told you that you could place a ticket in the space at the edge of a door, leaving it unsecured projecting from the side of a vehicle and waiting to easily fall to the ground? What else do you do that makes absolutely no god damn sense?
This shows proper ticket placement. Anywhere
else is improper, dumb and inconsiderate.
Fact: Except in very rare and uncontrollable circumstances, parking tickets placed under windshield wipers do not fall to the ground on their own.
There is one other scenario that might play out in this situation, that being if the car owner decides to appeal the ticket. That appeal would go to City Attorney Andy Howard. Whether he voids the ticket or not, we are paying him for time spent dealing with a ticket that never should have disappeared in the first place. Wasted time, wasted money. Why?
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