Off To A Great Start With the New Scannable Parking Signs Perched 9 Feet Above The Sidewalk! (Or Is It Ten Feet?)

As readers likely know by now, the new, much awaited scannable parking signs have arrived on Warren Street, high above the sidewalk.  But at least one of them already has a little problem.  While it's an easily fixable problem, it's yet another misstep in the process and a sign of more problems on the way leading up to the resumption of paid parking downtown.  The sign is facing a yellow curb and 3rd Street truck route traffic rather than the parking spaces on Warren in front of and beyond Steiner's.  Yes, it is facing in the wrong friggin' direction!  Welcome to Hudson!

"Honey, do you see any signs for parking payment?" 

"No, I don't.  I guess parking is free now -- they got rid of the meters.  I love this town, don't you, dear?"

Besides the mental challenge of making sure every one of the hundreds of new scannable parking signs is facing the proper direction, DPW (as well as HPD and their Parking Bureau) faces another -- perhaps less cerebral -- challenge, one that will likely be financial in nature.  That's because that while both sides of all nine blocks of Warren Street have what appears to be ample sign-ready city-owned streetlight lamps to attach the new signs to, the formerly metered side streets and the 700 block of Columbia Street do not.  The latter has only wooden utility poles that are owned by National Grid, and no one is supposed to be attaching anything to their poles.  DPW probably will attach the signs to NG's poles anyway (as Rob Perry did a few years ago with his useless CROSS ONLY ON GREEN signs), but they shouldn't be.  Wooden utility poles are not city property, and National Grid has the right to rip anything off of them without warning the offending party.  Not that Rob Perry cares, though.  Well, if Perry does the right and proper thing, someone will have to purchase and install several metal sign poles that reach at least 10 feet high so that people parking downtown can constantly ask the latest WTF questions:  "Can my phone really scan that fucking sign from all the way down here? Couldn't they have put it a little higher?" And, of course, "Can you stand on my shoulders so we can get this done, dude?"

The blocks of side streets where meters once reached Union and Columbia -- 7th, 6th and South 5th -- do not have any city streetlights among the spaces found past the alleys.  South 4th, with paid parking only from Warren to Cherry Alley on both sides, has no city streetlights available and only one NG utility pole. 

Have Mishanda Franklin and Doreen Danforth told Rob Perry on what surface the new signs will be posted where city-owned streetlights are not available, or is Rob Perry making up his own mind about this?  Surely, everyone is in on the same plan, right?  Surely, there is a plan, right?  Surely, a few people at HPD have recently taken a slow walk or two around all of the downtown business district with Rob Perry and taken careful notes, right?  Surely everyone enjoys collaborating with Rob Perry as much as he enjoys collaborating with others, right?  Exactly how much does a ten-foot-long metal sign pole cost, and how much does it cost to properly install one in frozen concrete in January so that it doesn't fall over in February?  

Paid parking resumes this coming Saturday, in 6 days (or so our Police Department claimed recently on Fakebook and nowhere else).  Presumably, this means that no one parking downtown -- even in the 700 block of Columbia Street where meters existed or in the 800 block of Warren where they didn't -- will have to wonder how or if they should pay for their parking space so they don't get ticketed. Everything, including all signage facing the proper direction, will be in place by this Friday at 5 pm, right?  DPW sure has some work to do, including removing a whole lot more meter poles.  Let's hope HPD is paying attention to what DPW is doing (or not doing).

The so-called rollout of paid parking -- whether it happens on the latest scheduled date or not -- will be an absolute disaster.  It already has been.  Even the update announcements have been. 

Here are two consecutive bullet points (of eleven!) found on the latest paid parking update from "Office of Hudson Mayor and Hudson Police Department," posted 5 days ago on HPD's Fakebook page.  (Please, have some respect.  It's known as The Hudson Mayor's Office!  You wouldn't say Department of Hudson Police, would you?)  The subject line of the announcement is even erroneous.  "Warren Street Parking Update," it reads.  

• Other side streets that were previously metered remain subject to parking fees, payable via the new kiosk system or other payment methods on signage.
• With paid parking now expanded and kiosks only located at municipal lots, we recommend you familiarize yourself with the location of the closest kiosk if you intend to pay with coins (those paying by card will be able to pay by phone/app from anywhere).

You can't make this stuff up!  It's almost like they have no idea what is going on on our streets.  Like they've never actually taken a walk downtown.

Dear Visitors:  Please pay for parking on Warren Street and its many side streets with the use of a kiosk if you like. For your convenience and sanity, we have provided kiosks for use only at the city's 5 downtown parking lots, only two of which are on Warren Street, both located in the 300 block and very close to one another.  But be prepared, as some of Warren Street's blocks are quite lengthy!   You may use coins for the kiosks if you like but be sure to bring a cell phone with you to pay just in case you can't locate or walk to one of the kiosks at our parking lots that are not meant for on-street parking.  (Sorry, but flip phones cannot pay for parking spaces.)  And we also strongly suggest that you keep an emergency punching bag in your car just in case you get lost, confused or violently angry.  And if your car is issued a parking ticket, please do not physically or verbally abuse our parking enforcers, they are only doing what they are told to do.  Thank you, and please come visit again, won't you!  Won't you?   

Even the constantly updated updates are full of contradictions, misinformation and WTF nonsense.   Remember, ALL of this is coming from the Police Department of Hudson!  No, I'm sorry, it's from the Department of Police Hudson!  

Oh, goodness, the challenges we face!  The challenges we thrust upon ourselves, don't need and didn't ask for!   

Our neighbors in Catskill (including their police department!) don't have the same parking challenges we now have, do they?   You can still find classy, old-fashioned, easily readable, well-maintained parking meters over there!  What is wrong with the people running Catskill?  Have they lost their friggin' minds?  Don't they know how much more money they could be swimming in if they'd just get with the program by removing all of their meters, installing a few $10,000 parking kiosks and put some simple sign up?  Hell, get the Catskill Chief of Police and his clerk to do it, they'd both probably be happy to.  It shouldn't take them more than 2 or 3 years to get all kiosk in the ground, the scannable parking signs posted facing the proper direction and for the tsunamis of parking revenue to start flowing in!  Hell, they can call us to get some tips on how to get it all done right!

Ever been to downtown Catskill? Ever driven over there and parked on Main Street?  Ever had a problem with inserting a quarter in one of their attractive, easily readable, easily repairable, well-maintained, sticker and graffiti-free, revenue-producing, antique-looking meters on attractive poles that all stand at the same height, never 2 feet off the ground?  Ever hear anyone complaining about their parking meters or the quarters they require?  No, neither have I.  What the hell is wrong with those people across the river?  I'd bet a dollar they haven't been offering free parking for the past two weeks!