A New Perk Of The Parking Enforcement Job: Interacting With The Public!

During the few months in 2014 when I was a proud Hudson Parking Enforcer, I'm almost certain that I never once had to explain to anyone how to pay for their parking space. No one who had just gotten out of their car parked in a metered space ever approached me with a puzzled look to ask me how to put a quarter in the parking meter next to their car.  No one ever asked me why it was so difficult to pay for their parking space or if they needed a mobile phone to pay for it.  (Yes, I did get the occasional, "Do you have four quarters for a dollar?")

Nobody ever asked me, "Am I supposed to scan that sign up there with my fucking phone to pay for my parking space so I can get a cup of coffee?"  Believe you me, I would remember something as ridiculous as that!  Nobody ever asked me, "what is a parking app?" or "how much is the transaction fee going to cost me to get a cup of coffee and spend some money in downtown Hudson?" No, I got none of those questions.  And certainly, nobody ever asked my why there wasn't a parking meter anywhere near the space they had just parked in.  

You can walk for 6 "metered" parking spaces before you 
reach a scannable parking sign allowing you to pay 
 for your space. There are two signs at the far end.
6 fucking spaces! In the heart of downtown Hudson!
 (7th north of Warren)

Back in the day, nobody ever asked me or any other parking enforcer if they had to pay for their parking space. The trusty parking meters - that required no signs and that readily accepted quarters that even a blind person could master -- kept that silly question at bay.  None of us parking enforcers at the time had to carry around little pieces of paper to hand to people who had just arrived to town and had spent 5 or 10 minutes not having any clue how to pay for their parking space.  None of us parking enforcers had to scan every license plate of every parked car we came across with a handheld device while standing in the street to determine if a car needed to be ticketed for a meter violation.  A little thing with directions written on it and a slot for a quarter attached to the top of a short pole at the curb alongside every parking space took care of that job for us. Thems was the good old days, lemme tell you!  In fact, unlike parking enforcers nowadays (since HPD took over parking last summer), I spent more time on the sidewalks than standing or walking in the streets doing my job.  Sidewalks safe (mostly); streets dangerous when walked in, especially alongside parked cars!  

Are enforcers now made to take 
deescalation training classes?  I sure hope so!

This is a picture I took last week of a parking enforcer explaining to a woman (holding the bag) why he had just issued her parked car a meter violation ticket.  I heard her claim that she had paid for her space with her phone.  She was furious and kept pointing at her phone.  The enforcer kept pointing at one of the nearby scannable parking signs high on a streetlamp pole.  After observing them "discussing" the ticket for at least two minutes, always standing in the street and at one point standing at the side of the driver's side of her car with multi-ton vehicles rolling by two feet away, I left.  This type of interaction N-E-V-E-R occurred until two months ago when HPD's new paid parking system began and our enforcers' daily routine was altered dramatically.  What a stupid waste of time.  And all the while standing in the street arguing about a $10 parking ticket!  When I was a parking enforcer, no one ever asked or told me, "Why did I get this parking ticket?" or "I didn't deserve this parking ticket!"  I never had to argue with anyone or explain to anyone why their car had just been issued a meter violation ticket, nor did I ever expect to.  If I had been asked to explain, I would have fallen over from laughing so hard.  I would remember that, too, had it happened!

HPD Parking Captain David Miller's new parking scheme has made the job more dangerous for his part-time enforcers.  They spend far too much time walking in the street, and their uniforms are about as dark as can be, as they always have been.  And enforcers spend far too much time standing in the street (and on the sidewalk) explaining to visitors how to pay for their parking space, how not to get a ticket and why they were just issued a ticket!  The high-tech, money and time-wasting dumbing down of America continues.  There was no arguing with a parking meter, that's for sure.