A Fictionalized Story Based on Real Events in Front of 520 Warren Street This Past Sunday

"Honey, will you please go to City Hall today and get a few blue garbage bags?   We're down to our last one and it's almost full."

"Okay, dear, I'll drive over there on the way back from the grocery and the hardware store.  That goddam machine better accept my credit card this time."

"Now don't you fret yourself, honey."

"Okay, you're right once again, my love. I'll be back in a few hours."

"You're the best.  Good luck!"

A few hours later.

"Honey, you didn't forget the garbage bags, did you?"

"No, I didn't forget them at all.   We don't have any because the god damn machine wasn't working again -- it accepted my card but wouldn't drop any bags.  That's a new one to me.  What a pain in the ass and waste of my time."

"Are you sure there were no bags, dear?" 

"Yeah, I'm sure.  Hell, I checked twice -- I even went back and had another look when I was halfway across the street headed to the car.  Still nothin' there.  I musta spent 5 minutes in front of that machine.  I almost kicked the goddam thing.  I better not have been charged for the bags I didn't get."

"Well, dear, what are you going to do?"

"Gotta head over again tomorrow and talk to someone inside, I guess.  That's what I told some nut who was taking my picture while I was standing in front of the machine looking like a dummy with my face pressed against the plexiglass and bent over stickin' my hand inside the machine over and over comin' up empty every time."

"It's so ridiculous, you'd think they would have a better system than that ugly old machine in front of such a pretty, historic building.  It's City Hall after all.  Isn't there a phone number to call on the machine if it's broken on the weekend and there's no sign saying so?"

"Of course not, honey, this is Hudson.  And the nut taking my picture said I should call the cops next time the machine is busted on the weekend.  I think I will." 

"I think that's a great idea, too.  Call the police, see what they say.  Why not!  Someone should know you wasted your time down there today."

"Seems like I should get a free bag for my troubles.  Don't you think?"

"Oh, dear, good luck with that!  Not in Hudson, not in a million years, no way."

"Yeah, I guess you're right yet again, sweetie pie."

HEADED HOME BAGLESS.  How many 
others suffered the same fate on Sunday
and possibly Saturday?