Earth To Hudson! Come In Hudson! Is Anyone There? Do You Copy?

 

During the most recent informal Common Council meeting, Margaret Morris asked a question of Captain David Miller that I thought I would never hear any council member ask of the police department.  (The question was a bit wordy and time-consuming, but hey, at least it was asked.) Though Miller had recently been the Acting Police Chief and Acting Police Commissioner while still wearing his Captain's badge, he was back to being solely our Police Captain.  The real Commissioner quit months ago and, at least for the time being, the position itself seems to have dissolved, perhaps never to reappear. Our actual Police Chief, Mishanda Franklin, as Miller noted at the beginning of his report, was back from her maternity leave "but I figured I would finish out the rest of the year here."

Here is Morris' q-u-e-s-t-i-o-n and Miller's response, taken from the video of the meeting:  

Morris: Since parking has been, against your recommendation last month, parking is now free for the month of December, what exactly are the folks who are charged with doing the parking enforcement, what are they doing for the month of December?  There are two-part timers, but what are they doing in the month of December now that there is no parking meters? 

(It took Morris exactly 34 seconds to ask what could have been a 7-second question:  How are HPD parking enforcers keeping busy this month with no parking meters to enforce?)

The month of December

Miller responded:  For this month, they're going to be removing all the meter heads off of Warren Street and the side streets... they've also been doing general enforcement for no parking zones, handicapped zones, that kind of stuff.  So, there's work for them to do, for sure.

On Thursday, December 18th (yes, in the month of December), at the intersection of North 4th & Prison Alley at 1 pm, I observed exactly what Captain Miller had told Margaret Morris "the folks who are charged with parking enforcement" would be up to in the month of December.  I seen it!  Miller wasn't lying!  A parking enforcer, with ticket machine in hand and, apparently, with no more parking meter heads to remove, was on a sidewalk in an area where no parking meters had ever existed.  And he had found something to do with his time, earning his wages, if you will.

A red pickup truck was parked alongside a yellow curb in what is -- or once was -- known as a FIRE ZONE, where fire hydrants are typically found.  And sure enough there was something resembling a fire hydrant at the curb next to the parked truck, but upon closer inspection it wasn't your typical hydrant.  Actually, to call it a fire hydrant isn't being kind to hydrants in general.  It was an ugly, plastic-wrapped hunk of metal useless piece of shit so-called fire hydrant that has been out of service for several years (close to ten I have been told!) and covered in plastic bags that get replaced about once a year when they become too unsightly even for Rob Perry.  And so, to keep busy and bring the city much needed revenue, the parking enforcer issued the red pickup a parking ticket.  He had to, didn't he?  Was it a $50 FIRE ZONE ticket the enforcer issued the offending vehicle, as anyone would expect?  No, it was not.  Rather, it was a $25 NO PARKING ZONE ticket the folk charged with parking enforcement issued from his ticket machine.  Even that parking enforcer couldn't believe that the lovely plastic-wrapped thing at the curb was a fire hydrant and the parking space was actually a FIRE ZONE anymore!  Hell, whatever was being hidden by that black plastic bag stopped being a fire hydrant years ago!  But the truck needed to be issued a ticket for some violation or another, parked along a yellow curb as it was!  Pick one! How about for parking in a NO PARKING ZONE even though there aren't any NO PARKING signs anywhere nearby?  Sure, what the hell, that works!  Let the Parking Bureau and the city attorney sort that one out if the ticket gets appealed on the grounds of comical error!  

This bag (and zip ties) appeared early 
this month or late last month, replacing a
disgraceful mess.

23 months ago, early 2024

Later in 2024

June of 2023.  Notice the parked vehicle.

Earlier this year, as part of the DRI project, the new sidewalk along North and South Front Street got three brand-new red fire hydrants.

Sometime in October, DPW finally completed their task of replacing a fire hydrant on the eastern end of Clinton Street, one of two hydrants on the street.  The pavement (street) in front of the old hydrant had been a gravelly mess for at least 12 months while the hydrant was missing.  Now, two orange safety cones remain by the new hydrant two months after the project was completed.  During his DPW report at the informal meeting in November, Rob Perry began his explanation of the hydrant replacement task by telling the council, "We changed a hydrant out on Clinton Street," then offered all sorts of details (with pictures!) no one needed to hear, found useful or could ever possibly remember.  Perry did not say how long the old hydrant had been missing or out-of-service or why it had to be replaced, though I know for a fact that it was never covered in a black plastic bag secured with zip ties.  No, not a new bag nor a tattered one.  I'm thinking that the old hydrant just wasn't working anymore and had to be replaced.  You know, so that there would be a working fire hydrant in case of a fire.

Why would DPW replace a broken fire hydrant 
on one street but not another?

I'm thinking that Rob Perry came to the conclusion years ago that whoever decided to install a fire hydrant on 4th Street at Prison Alley made a mistake: the hydrant never should have been installed there because it would never be useful for the Hudson Fire Department in case of a fire.  Why else would a fire hydrant never be fixed or replaced and just remain covered in a series of black plastic bags in various forms of decay for several years? Is it because our DPW Superintendent just likes that look?  But Rob's not a slob, is he?