Age-Old Questions That Probably Flummoxed Even Socrates and Plato

Is it illegal to park your car along a yellow curb surrounding an out-of-service fire hydrant, including one that is wrapped in a black plastic for seven years or more?  
Is it illegal to yell FIRE in a movie theater if you are the only person in the theater?

Is an out of service fire hydrant a fire hydrant?  

Is a dead bird a bird?

Why the hell would a DPW Superintendent allow any fire hydrants to remain out of service for years? 

Is it possible to quantify stupidity, carelessness and sloppiness?