Well into last Monday's one hour Parking Safety Committee meeting, apparent parking supervisor and actual Police Captain David Miller -- without any prompting -- gave a spiel about how far the city has come with parking since "HPD took over parking less than a year ago." It came after a Warren Street resident stood up and voiced her concerns and complaints for a few minutes about the new parking system and after several minutes of mostly confusing responses from SAFETY Parking Committee head Henry Haddad and Police Chief Franklin (yes, there are three people speaking on parking matters these days). Miller's speech was as laughable as it was incoherent. Here it is; hold on to your wig: Since then, we can have meetings like this. Before this, before we took over, you couldn't do. What we're doing right now didn't exist. So, it's great, like compared to what we used to have and what we're doing now. We can talk, we walk through it. We work on it. Keep in mind that at some of the meetings we've talked about how you can do this and the different ways you can, 'cus this system is great compared to what we had. I understand change is tough, but I watched that system for years and it was just barbaric. The machines were breaking; people would put in their quarters and then go somewheres else. It was just a real mess." (The incomplete, poorly constructed sentences and misspelled word are accurate.)
If the old parking system with meters was a REAL MESS and BARBARIC, why were residents never showing up to Common Council meetings complaining about what a mess the barbaric parking system was? What were residents and visitors who were trying to pay for parking complaining about before HPD took over parking last year? Was it the barbarism of having to put a quarter into a slot on a parking meter? How many meetings went on for 45 minutes or an hour about parking payment issues prior to last July when the system was a real mess and barbaric? What the fuck does it mean to "put in their quarters and then go somewheres else"? Is there something wrong with that? Was that the barbaric part or the messy part? Somewheres else where? Catskill? Is somewheres a real word? (My spell check is telling me NO!)
Note to the second in command at the Hudson Police Department: Barbaric is bombing a country and killing its civilians that pose no threat to you whatsoever. Barbaric is a police officer using excessive force on someone, and possibly killing them, who poses no threat and has done little to nothing wrong. Sorry, Parking Captain Miller, by definition a parking system cannot be BARBARIC. And what did you mean when you said that you "watched the parking system for years"? From where were you "watching the parking system"? Your desk? Your police vehicle? Why weren't you "watching" crime and "watching" criminals be put in handcuffs? Did you have nothing better to do than "watch parking"? For how long were you "watching parking" and who told you that was part of your job? Was "watching parking" always part of your job at HPD? Were you (are you) the "parking watcher"? Are you also the "crime watcher"?
The only conclusion one can come to after hearing Miller's spiel is that he is absolutely desperate to let everyone know how wonderful things are with the city's new paid parking system. It appears that he has a third title: HPD's spin doctor parking watcher.
Earlier in the SAFETY PARKING Committee meeting, the discussion turned to one of everyone's favorite issues regarding David Miller's wonderful new paid parking system (free of mess and barbarism, mind you): the high transaction service fees and "surcharges" (Haddad's word) everyone using the parking app must pay. When Miller finally had his chance to offer his insight and wisdom on the subject, he said this: "Our rates, just for the record, are the cheapest."
Haddad: They're the cheapest?
Miller: Yeah.
Haddad: Thank you.
Miller: If you go to Albany, you go right on to Albany parking and they have a chart with all their scheduling and their fees. So, you would look at our parking and go OH WOW, WE'RE GETTING A HUGE BREAK HERE COMPARED.
No committee members asked Miller why he was comparing Albany's parking fee RATES to Hudson's parking fee rates when the issue being discussed right in front of him was about parking app transaction fees, not parking rates. Miller wasn't even referring to transaction fees or "surcharges," but not that it mattered. He's either a spin doctor or he cannot pay attention. Or both.
Three years ago, on the day that Chief of Police Mishanda Franklin's predecessor said goodbye to Hudson, he left us with this suggestion, if not warning: KEEP PARKING OUT OF THE POLICE DEPARTMENT'S HANDS! Alas, Ed Moore's words went ignored. It might be time to update Ed's prescient warning/suggestion: KEEP PARKING OUT OF CAPTAIN DAVID MILLER'S HANDS!
Keep in mind that, according to Miller himself, the only reasons that the city had to implement a new paid parking system was because "the machines were breaking and people would put in their quarters and go somewheres else." For that, the city spent over $150,000 on 16 kiosk machines over a year ago, 10 of which are still waiting to be installed on a sidewalk; spent and continue to spend thousands of dollars on $19 plastic signs that keep breaking and having to be replaced with $29 signs; are now paying the police clerk to supervise the Parking Bureau (but not show up to PARKING SAFETY Committee meetings); force the parking enforcers to scan every license plate they come across with a handheld machine; and, perhaps most telling, spend hours at meetings hearing complaints from residents and figuring out how to work out the kinks in the new system that is no longer barbaric or a real mess.
We are screwed!
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