First Step (Of Many) To Help Keep The United States Postal Service On Its Feet (I'm Not Kidding!)

DEAR USPS CUSTOMER --

TO ALLOW USPS MAIL SERVICE TO BE MORE EFFICIENT, QUICKER AND SAFER FOR OUR MAIL CARRIERS, THEY WILL NO LONGER BE ASCENDING MORE THAN 4 STAIRS PER ADDRESS TO DELIVER MAIL.  FROM NOW ON, 3 STEPS UP AND DOWN IS THE MAXIMUM, AND EACH STEP MUST HAVE A SOLID RAILING TO HOLD ON TO, BE IN GOOD REPAIR AND FREE OF HAZARDS, AND HAVE AT LEAST THREE FEET OF UNENCUMBERED WIDTH (THIS INCLUDES VEGETATION OF ANY KIND).  FOR THOSE WITH MAILBOXES OR DOOR SLOTS CURRENTLY LOCATED MORE THAN 3 STAIRS FROM THE SIDEWALK, WE ASK THAT YOU LOCATE A MAILBOX AT THE BOTTOM OF YOUR STAIRS THAT DOES NOT INTERFERE WITH PEDESTRIAN TRAFFIC AND ABIDES BY WHAT REMAINS OF SOCIETAL NORMS AND AESTHETICS.  IN OTHER WORDS, MAKE IT USER-FRIENDLY AND NICE-LOOKING, PLEASE.

THINGS ARE CHANGING FOR THE BETTER HERE AT USPS, WHERE WE HAVE A PAIR OF NEW MOTTOS:  3 STEPS AND DONE! and STAIRWAYS LEAD TO HELL, NOT TO HEAVEN! WE KINDLY ASK THAT YOU GET USED TO THE NEW DELIVERY RULES AT USPS OR YOU SHOULDN'T EXPECT TO RECEIVE ANY MAIL AT ALL. 

That's the mail carrier in the background who, moments  
earlier, descend these 10 steps sideways with, of course,   
 her mail bag swinging at the side of her leg.  She likely had to 
 do the same headed up to deliver a few pieces of mail. The 
 USPS shouldn't tolerate this for one day.  It's dangerous,
  disrespectful, and so much more that is wrong. (Pic taken today)

THE USPS MUST MAKE THIS DELIVERY CHANGE -- WE LIKE TO CALL IT AN UPGRADE -- TO SURVIVE; IT IS FOR BOTH OUR BENEFIT AND FOR YOURS SO THAT THE USPS CAN CONTINUE TO DELIVER THE MAIL 6 DAYS A WEEK AS BEST WE CAN. EACH STEP OUR CARRIERS TAKE IS PRECIOUS TIME THEY SPEND DELIVERING MAIL AS WELL AS MONEY WE MUST SPEND PAYING THEM TO DO SO, BOTH DIRECTLY LINKED TO THE PRICE ALL OUR CUSTOMERS PAY TO HAVE THEIR MAIL DELIVERED IN A TIMELY FASHION.  IF WE CAN SPEND AN EQUAL, OR NEARLY EQUAL, AMOUNT OF TIME DELIVERING MAIL TO EVERY ADDRESS, THEN WE ALL WIN.  THINK OF OUR NEW STAIR-CUTTING MEASURE AS A COST-SAVING MEASURE FOR THE USPS AND OUR CUSTOMERS, SOMETHING WE CAN ALL GET BEHIND. WE SAVE AND YOU SAVE!  PLEASE HELP US SPEND OUR TIME AND MONEY MORE EQUITABLY, WISELY, EFFECTIVELY, AND EFFICIENTLY HERE IN THE 21ST CENTURY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED SUPPORT; WE NEED ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET DURING THESE CHALLENGING TIMES. 

STARTING ON JANUARY 1ST, 2027, WE MEAN IT:  3 STEPS AND DONE!  3 FEET WIDE AND NO VEGETATION!  STAIRWAYS ONLY LEAD TO HELL!